Funny Thing is...

How do people get under your skin? I mean really how do they create the lasting impression that's just always there. The kind of impression you need to use Eternal Sunshine of a Spotless mind to get rid of. I mean you can be surrounded by members of the opposite sex who would likely be very happy and make you very happy and yet it's still not the same as that one person. You could just not know what you want, perhaps seeing an end but not knowing how to make it there from where you are right now. You can hold so tight to a person that it's like making a fist with a delicate flower in your hand, you just end up crushing it because you cannot bear to let go. You can realize a mistake made in the past yet unsure of how to correct it now. You can be so confused about what you really want that you end up confusing the other person making it hard on both parties. All these things for the big "L" Love and why? What makes it ok for some people to go through relationships like water, carry maybe a fanny packs worth of baggage and move on. Others have this heavy feeling of commitment when is there really any? Is it all a mind trick that we somehow need to break ourselves free of? Or is it something we can sense that other people cannot, something we know we need to complete our lives where others may have missed it and now are just settling for what they can get? Sigmund Freud said " The great question that has never been answered and which I have not been able to answer....is, What does a women want?" But is it really even about women and more just what do we all really want if we could just lay it all out, grab it all from the backs of our heads and spill it out. Are we just stuck in place our mind cannot find its way out of? Can our mind be blinding us to the person we should really be with, who is right in front of us, with the person of the past? Or is it really trying to tell us something that we need to revisit?

What the hell happened to the girl next-door?

Women and what they look like, oh yeah I know I’m opening Pandora’s Box but what the hell. First off I really have no idea how we went from people being so obese that they couldn’t fit through the castle gate to being so thin that even a sheet of paper looks at itself in the mirror and say’s “damn I’m fat” Naw what we need is hybrid middle ground to even things out and set things straight. First off if you are born with an obscenely high metabolism go ahead live it up, eat Crisco for breakfast, lunch and dinner, enter a eating contest like that Asian woman (thank you Anonymous) who eats hot dogs or go to third world countries and help people wash their clothes with your washboard abs, help them crack 2x4's in half with your buns o’ steel, whatever. If not well then there are 2 groups of people left, the people who think their overweight and the people who are. Now I’m sure 99.9% of everyone in the first category could loose a pound here or there granted. This is what I classify as the girl next-door look. She’s between average and a few extra pounds, great smile, takes care of herself and enjoys here food. And you know what there and more of these than everyone in general seem to see in reality these days. Take a look through magazines, skip the lame advertisements and look at the photos of professional cheerleaders, people at the club scene you'll see what people look like in “the real world”. Sure a few of them have 6-pack abs that look like the own a gym but look around them. Women complain too much about sitting down and seeing that bit of baby fat that hangs over their jeans. Stand up and look at yourself, then look back through the magazine, I see none of these woman sitting, most are standing or lying down and by the looks of it if they were to sit they too would have that same bit of baby fat hanging over their jeans. And what the hell is wrong with that?!? I want a natural woman, someone who knows how to live her life and not worry about what the next piece of popcorn is going to do to her figure, or where that French fry is going to explode on her thighs. That’s another thing I hear all the time “my thighs are too fat” oh yeah well would you rather them be sticks so I can see your bones and joints work every time you move? Give me a girl with some meat on her legs not some stick figure, I want something to grab, touch and a curvy body to love not a flat highway, Florida has enough of those. If I cuddle up with you and feel like I’m going to snap you like I’m biting off a piece of a Slim Jim like the Macho Man Randy Savage you need some pasta and potato’s stat. So women go take a look around and I’ll bet you see these beauties that everyone else sees and even yourself say are gorgeous. Now go order a large double cheese pizza and eat the whole thing yourself, you deserve it then call me up for some popcorn and a movie.

Strange

I some how feel strange lately and have a vague idea why. I think the thought of someone new in my life scares me. For almost 4 years I've known and planned where my life was leading me and now I am back at square one. All the time and effort I have nothing to show for it, I feel I am a better person, I have good memories but nothing really tangible. New people come into our lives all the time, but people you are going to be more than just friends with are few and far between, normally. It's like being a judge at a beauty pagant, how do you choose, and choose well? I know the one thing I've learned is to take things slow, and keep the pressure off. Both of which seem to be working, though in the back of my head I kinda want to get in that comfortable stage where I was as fast as I can I know it's not a good thing. Things are turning up and that's the best part, I don't need to try, worry or make excuses. I can just go with the flow and see where these new people lead me, the one who is the best pick should be the one left in the end.

Double Banana Cream Pie

What is needed:
2 Boxes Jell-O Pudding/Pie Filling (1 Box Vanilla, 1 Box Chocolate)
5 Cups Cold Milk
1 Graham Cracker Pie Crust
2 Medium Banana's
Whipped Cream
Egg Whites

First spread egg whites on pie crust as per directions and bake. When done baking take pie crust out of oven to cool. Mix each box of pie filling separately using 2 to 2 and a half cups of milk. Fill pie crust less than halfway with vanilla pie filling. Cut banana into thin slices and layer on top of vanilla pie filling. Fill with chocolate pie filling to desired level, top off with whipped cream. Place in refrigerator for at least 30 minutes. If filling is too liquid place in freezer for 30-60 minutes or use less milk when making filling.

Movie Review - Chasing Liberty

Synopsis:
Despite the fact that Liberty (Mandy Moore) say's she's attracted to some guy, she only just met mind you, she still seems to want to run away an awful lot. On top of all this she get's pissed the he won't take her virginity. Jesus peace, girls complain on and on about he guys are pigs and this and that and some nice guy comes along and not only do they seem to try and do whatever they can to make said guy leave they also get pissed when the guy won't be a total pig. Now our hero isn't a total prince, he does lie to our star and for that gets a knee in his groin and the thankful phrase "I hate you". Though somehow, in a typical movie ending they end up together, when she comes back to make a "big gesture". Yeah like that ever happens in real life, I for once would love to see a girl chase down a guy just to prove me wrong. And I would also like to bring up that even in movies women hate when guys watch them eat and sleep. Some how it doesn't seem right to them, why who know's I'm a guy I would think that it is a "big gesture" if a guy can watch you eat or sleep without other distractions to entertain him. This movie also raises the question about "What is third base?". Well you can't ask me since I didn't know I passed second base till the first time I made love with someone. Just a note I'm assuming everyone knows that first base is kissing, after this is where all the confusion comes in. According to the bodyvides dictionary it's anything that has to do with oral sex. So there case closed, no more having to argue who stole second while rounding third for a home run.

I would not watch this movie again unless I had a female companion with me. For a date night movie I would give it a 4 out of 5 for a solo outing I would give it a 3 out of 5 and only for the fact that Jeremy Piven is in it to save scene’s.

The weakend update

Alright so been doing a lot of thinking, psh when does that not happen, my brain is like a damn hamster on a wheel that's taken a Viagra, drank a case of Code Red Mountain Dew and chased that with some bawls, anyway it's kinda weird when someone younger than you already has a family. Time for an explanation I know, one of my friends recently had a baby, even though he is not married his future in some part is set, though according to Sarah Connor "The future is not set, there is no fate but what we make for ourselves". Everyday someone to come home to, not just the baby, and new experiences abound, along with, I hope, love. Now I myself know that a baby right now wouldn't be helpful though how could you reject something that is a new piece of your essence to this big blue marble. So in a way I am jealous that he's established a family of sorts and I'm just kinda here typing away on this blog. Now on to the fun stuff, The Dumbass of the week award. Yup every week there is one, that just stands head and shoulders, and could probably use some, above the rest of the losers and jack asses that wonder into my local store of employment. This one in particular gets this award with a priceless look on her face, you see after being told something was free, she froze with a look I will now attempt to describe. Take off both shoes and socks, stick one foot into cottage cheese, take the other foot and plant it in a bucket of peeled grapes, now if you had a blind fold on and I lowered you into these this would be the face you made. Contorted and twisted with the utmost disgust the, if you live where I do, tiny under worked, over surgically altered and 3M (oh yeah the rubber and plastics people) certified, muscles in your face would allow you to make. Take a look in the mirror and see if you can recreate this masterpiece of 4 brain cells run amok with hair coloring and anesthesia. That my friends is priceless, on top of that she walked almost completely out of my store even though previously I had pointed to my right which is in the complete opposite direction of the front door. I guess the biggest kicker is she drove up in a new Mercedes G55 AMG SUV and parked so crooked it makes the teeth on Austin Powers look straighter than a horny 12" ruler.